Today we’re in the mood to laugh. It’s been a rough couple of weeks and everyone is in need of some comedic relief, are we right? Well you’ve parked your motorcycle in the right place, because today, we’re serving up some classic laughter, with 5 Harley Davidson jokes. Are you ready?
Q: What does HOG stand for?
A: Heavyset Old Geezers
A little old lady wanted to join a biker club. She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answered the door. She proclaimed, “I want to join your biker club.” The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. So the biker asked her, “You have a bike?” The little old lady said, “Yea, that’s my Harley over there,” and points to a Harley parked in the driveway. The biker asked her, “Do you smoke?” The little old lady said “Yea, I smoke. I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I’m shooting pool.” The biker is impressed and asked, “Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?” The little old lady said, “No, I’ve never been picked up by the fuzz, but I’ve been swung around by my nipples a few times.”
A Harley mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and said, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make about $40K a year, a pretty small salary and you get the really big bucks when you and I are doing basically the same work?”
The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the Harley Davidson mechanic “you’re right, but try doing it with the engine running.”
A Biker came along a Nun on the side of the road with a flat tire. He stopped his Harley and asked if the Nun needed any help. The Nun not being mechanically inclined, accepted his help. The Biker jacked up the car, but when he got the tire off the ground the jack slipped and the car dropped. “SHIT!!!” shouted the biker. “No…” replied the Nun, “say Bless Me Father”.
Grumbling under his breath the biker jacked the car up again, and again the jack slipped. “SHIT!!!” roared the biker. The Nun determined to save his soul kindly reminded him to say, “Bless Me Father”. Mumbling , and grumbling the Biker returned to the task at hand, but again the jack slipped dropping the car with a crash. His jaws locked, and his face red with anger, the Biker slowly muttered the words, “Bless Me Father”.
With that the car slowly raised off the ground. The Nun, seeing this miracle turned white as a ghost, and in a quivering voice sad “SHIT!!!“
A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.”
The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”
The Lord said, “Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me.”
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, “Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.”
The Lord replied,
“Do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?”
Tell us in the comments section below which joke had you laughing the hardest!